Sentences:
Calmly, what looked like birds, gather into a flock of books and slip into the shelves like a perfect shoe fit. The sun silently fulls the sky with a lite blend of yellow and orange on the horizon then glimmering lights start to appear beside the moon light. It shines on the city full of tall standing buildings and jazzy music turns on in the crowded streets. Meanwhile, the little girl buries her head in her adventurous books and feels like she is dreaming when she imagines it. She calls the book she wants and it comes drifting into her turning hands. Silently, she reads her books in her comfy dark blue chair that is brightened by a lamp that has a black body and a yellow face. At night all the books flutter to their right spots and close their wings tightly. Then they stick their spines out and hope that someone will be curious to read their adventures they have inside them the next day. This was no ordinary library.
Hi Leilani. Well done on using an 'ly starter to begin your writing. I really like how you described the books as being a flock of birds and slipping into the shelves like a foot into a shoe. This was very descriptive. You are using some great words to add impact to your writing. It would be great if you could go back and read your writing to check that your sentences are not too long. Maybe instead of using a comma, would a full stop be better?
ReplyDeleteGood Morning Nicole, thanks for giving me some feed back on my work. Yes I did go back and changed it up a little. I put in some music and people partying in the city streets to describe how loud it was, and how different she was.
ReplyDeleteThank you again. Leilani